Accept it and Leave it

dsc_0058What the heck is that?  (And maybe you’re asking the same thing)

Why on earth did I take this picture? (You’re probably also wondering if that is blood or paint – pretty sure it’s paint)

This photo was in an album I titled “Spring Craft Time.”

I’m not the kind of person to get crafty with blood.

Also, I think that paint is on glass.

Why was I painting glass?

I was being crafty in the spring I guess.

 

So I use google’s number generator.

I type in “7 – 17” for the number of years I’ve been snapping photos and saving them digitally.

It gives me a year, in this case 11.

I go to my external hard rive and find the folder for 2011.

Then I count the number of folders in 2011 – 38

Then I go to the number generator again and I type in, “1 – 38.”

It chooses – 35.

Folder 35, “Spring Craft Time,” houses 57 photos.

Number generator picked photo number 50.

That is what you are seeing.

Wow.

Out of 10 years worth of photos.

 

This is what is randomly chosen.

 

When I began this endeavor I was excited about it –

Excited about reminiscing and digging out these old photos.

“It’ll be so cool to finally write about them and upload them for the world to see!”

And now I’m less enthused –

“Google Number Generator, will you please pick a cool photo this time?”

Sometimes I just want to pick the photo myself.

Find a really cool photo from an awesome memory.

And only pick those.

But the whole point of this blog is to just leave things “As Is.”

To accept whatever the number generator picks out,

make the most of it,

see the beauty in it,

But then I think about all the cool photos I see all over social media.

I have such cool friends and acquaintances.

I’m constantly trying to measure up to them.

I can’t compete with their coolness (especially with bizarre photos like this one).

One of my good friends pointed out to me that people who post on social media, just post what they want others to see.

So I see others post the beauty and coolness I wish to have – the travel destinations, babies, engagements, marriages, tasty food, awesome lesson plans, proud teacher moments, new outfits etc…

And I want to live the lives they are having

Instead of living the life I have

As it is

Weird, painted glass and all.

Do we post all of those things?

Should we?

I just want to live without that concern of what other people think.

I don’t want to keep trying to live up to these expectations.

And sometimes I do, there are moments where all gets stripped away and I can live

It’s wonderful

But other times

Not so much

So I’m gonna keep up this friendship with Google Generator and my External Hard Drive,

and my mostly strange photographs

I’m going to let them teach me how to accept what is

And not try and change it to make myself fit a mold, or look more cool

I’m just going to leave it

As is.

 

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